Catching up with my friend

My Pen

On a chill monday morning, lazy to get up from the bed, feeling tired from the long gone weekend, looking at the cloudy sky, feeling like one more day of rest would solve all problems of your life, there comes an old long forgotten friend back to you with a coffee mug with right mix of sweetness in his smile.

Imagine yourself, he is just holding your hands, lets talk.. 

With some melodious music running in the background, here i am with my very old friend. Sitting by our balcony, we start to chat. 

Damn he has changed a lot, from the times when i used one hand and three fingers to hold him to the ten finger and 101 keys on the keyboard. yes, he is my good old gone friend my writing. its nice to get him back. No, he got me back from the never settling new feed scrolls of Facebook and the instant stories of Instagram. 

I miss him, He made me speak to myself. he made me speak my heart out. he made me do things which i didn't know i could do.So its good to have him back.

So, what do we talk about? Maybe we talk about how i lost him. 

I was a young teenager and as it sounds i was so energetic and enthusiastic in whatever i did. Thanks to Sivakasi and Sithurajapuram municipality for not having proper broadband connections. I never watched a TV series until last year. I never watched Youtube when i was a teenager. i never even know the word social media when i stepped into my bachelors. I must thank my college Mepco Schlenk Engineering College for not allowing mobiles and social networking sites in college campus. Now i wish i could turn off my WiFi. 

As usual i got addicted to social media sites when i got into college even though college had restrictions and my snail paced Internet. But i wasn't struck with it. 

I used to write Tamil poems short stories and some motivational quotes. Most of my friends know me by my DV's morning messages. I write poems and post it in Facebook. Not to get more likes or earn more friends but i felt it as a place where i can showcase my feelings and get it reflected through people. i never really cared who are gonna read it or whether i am writing a good English or whether my words are placed in proper way. I just wrote and they just reflected my feelings and i felt good. 

But after accomplishing my bachelor degree, i chose to pursue my higher studies in Germany  A new land , a new language, new people, new food, new climate, enormous amount of knowledge. The later part is as dangerous as it sounds. After coming to Germany  initially i was the same energetic enthusiastic social person who i used to be. i was excited in doing small small things and i felt so good about it. Writing about each new experience i had in Germany was a pleasure. But in the mean time, i was being judgmental on myself in order not to be judgmental on others. I started to think maybe i am just foolish and childish to do all these things very socially. I mistook expressing feelings in words to the world is childish. and that i need to GROW UP... 

Experiences, so many different background people, new culture  new language baffled me and made me doubt myself. when i try to write, i started feeling maybe this is simple and maybe this isn't right, maybe people have other perspectives, maybe i am not thinking that way and in the end, i am left with a blank word document or unfilled fresh paper smelling diaries. 

Its sad. i simply couldn't write Even as i write this, so many things going on in my mind, whether will it mean anything to people? whether people are interested to read such a long post about my feelings? Does it gonna bring anything to them? to the society?

but i dont wanna end up again with an empty post. 

Its one of my initiative to bring back the old me. I see more of my friends are suffering from just sticking to scrolling newsfeeds in facebook and just doing less of what they really wanna do. I top the list of those people. Thanks that i got my friend back today. i would try to stick to him.

There are such friends for everyone in their life. Call them back. Spend time with them. be it cooking, going out on a bike ride, drawing, photography, travel, dance, singing. Call your friend back. Stick to them. Express your feelings and not be hindered by the judgmental critics about what you wanna do. The more and more you spend time on newsfeeds, you are increasing the input to your brain and you are giving it less time to process them. Take what you need and spend time with it. Life is just spending time on what you like. Dont let the artificial intelligence and machine learning algorithms hide your friends from you. 

More to come in a while since i patched up with my old friend. I would be so glad to receive your experience with social media and your old friends. Take you time to catch up with that old friend. 

My pen